There is no such thing as a perfect parent. So just be a real one.
Before kids I’d talk about how I’d raise my kids differently, little did I know how much time, and knowledge go into kids.
So let’s just jump right into this.
iPad? Tv? Well when I need 5 minutes of quiet or maybe I need to get something done ASAP those things are going to come in handy. I was that pre-mom that said I’d never use one. Let’s be serious for a moment, they are life savers. My child plays educational games and for the most part has a limited time on there, he is thriving in counting, colors, and shapes. I look at it as technology is their future. Good for you mama for finding what works for your whether it be iPad or not. Why do we shame this? 1. We need breaks and 2. We both know it takes a hell of a lot more than technology to raise a little human.
Co sleeping? Heck yes I do. With my first he slept next to the bed in a rock n play or as he got older in bed with us. He eventually switched to a play pen in the room. My second sleeps in the bed (we absolutely love DockATot!). Now once again my pre mom attitude was never to co sleep, I didn’t think it’s safe and I believe in self soothing. Let’s get really real for a minute, kids wake up a lot at night, they sleep longer when held, and I need sleep. My first had a crib and he didn’t use it until he was a year, my second doesn’t have a crib as we support SAFELY co sleeping. Back up, should we mom shame those that co sleep or should we educate them on safe ways to do so? Maybe we need to share the benefits of co sleeping before we bash those that let their little humans sleep in a different room? Hey, if you get sleep one way or another that should be praised. Because us parents can’t operate on no sleep, can we?
Someone once asked me why I didn’t pump and dump when I told them I bottle fed. Well here’s the thing, I was on a medication that no doctor could say was safe while nursing. I didn’t want either of my children to take a medication they didn’t need if it went through to milk. Also, maybe I personally find nursing weird. Why do we shame moms that don’t breastfeed? Why is it a big deal if a mom says they find breastfeeding weird? Thank God science has come so far with formula. I have 2 very healthy and thriving children. But hey, good for you mama for making sure your babies are fed in whatever way that may be.
When do you start baby on food? What process do you use? Our first I started on food at 4 months, just puréed vegetables. I think the norm says 6 months? You waited until then or later and use baby led weaning? Well hey your little human is fed, good for you mama!
Did you use cloth diapers, pampers, chemical free diapers? We used both pampers and chemical free. I know this is going to sound crazy but both their little butts are just fine. But how nice would it have been to save a bunch of money using cloth? Good job making sure those little butts are taken care of Mama!
Discipline? Well for our 2 year old we’ve tried everything. Standing in the corner is the only thing that works. My friends little standing in the corner doesn’t work. All I want is well behaved children, how you get there is none of my business (as long as you aren’t abusing them obviously).
You stay home? You work? Isn’t it crazy that we bash moms that work because they aren’t with their kids or we bash moms that say staying home is hard. I’m a stay at home mom to two, and props to you mamas that work and still come home and do all the things stay at home mamas do. Because neither are easy!!!
Vaccines? I’m not the type of person that wants to sit down and have a conversation about vaccines. I vaccinate my kids but I wouldn’t ever tell you that you’re a bad mama because you aren’t putting “poison” in your kids body (someone seriously said that to me, who does that!). Want to know why? Because we all choose to raise our kids differently. So keep supporting whatever it is you believe in Mama, but let’s back off on shoving it down people’s throats. Whatever side we may be on we seriously don’t need to shame moms for their choice. Just pray and keep in mind those that CANT BE vaccinated for health reasons.
This list could go on and on. We all mom shame, and it doesn’t matter what subject it’s on. What matters is that we do this instead of sharing our knowledge (politely). We are quick to judge and shove our believes down a mothers throat because you know best. The truth is, first time moms are crazy and overwhelmed (oh, you don’t admit that?). Heck, I am all that and then some as soon as I had my second. I like be open to new ideas of what works for other kids because I cant find the handbook for them. You like this baby product, please share it with me! Whatever it is, some things may not work for everyone or maybe our beliefs are different but that doesn’t mean we aren’t good mamas. Personally I feel we are forever growing as parents, why not take in all the ideas to make us even better mamas!!
Ps we took our 3 month old to a monster truck show.. and we use pacifiers…
We as mothers should be working as teams, educating one another and celebrating each other.