Fight for the fairy tale it does exist.

You are proof that God answers prayers”

Maybe this isn’t the perfect fairytale but it’s my favorite.

A random night in 2014 I heard a good song playing at karaoke, so I started asking around for someone to dance with. A couple of the men I had asked to dance said the guy singing is a good dancer and that I should ask him. Later on in the night I met a nice guy, named Kyle. Something right away made me want to get to know him more.

We would randomly go get drinks together, or meet up at the bar and chat. He would ask me to dinner and I’d always say no. Because honestly, I was hung up on some loser wasting my time.

Kyle asked me once again to go get supper with him and some friends, and I said no. He ended up taking this tall hot blonde Russian. Serious, lady crush! Our friends sat there with me saying “that could have been you” and I’d just laugh because even though I was interested, I wasn’t really interested. I’d just keep texting him asking when is he was going to be coming because

“I wanted to dance”.

After what would end up being one too many drinks as soon as Kyle walked in (with this tall blonde haired Russian) I would ask him to leave. We ended up going back to his place to drink more, and dance in our underwear (weird, right?).

I was lookin’ for love in all the wrong places, Lookin’ for love in too many faces,

He sang You are my Sunshine at the top of his lungs, and then (what we now call our song) Looking for Love. One thing would lead to another (too much info?). The last thing I said to him is “I hope this doesn’t ruin our friendship.”

Some how he was invited to my families Christmas in South Dakota (I’m pretty sure I was not the one that invited him..) and for some reason I absolutely did not want him talking to my family or anyone. I got sick over the holidays too so I was pretty miserable. So miserable and annoyed that the way Kyle ate his soup, or drove the car drove me nuts. Hell, the way he breathed made me want to suffocate him right then and there.

We traveled back to ND together with no plans of talking again.

Did I mention I was hung up on some loser? Yeah, over new years I went to see that cheating loser in AZ. I got sick before my plane ride, but chalked it up to nerves. I mean I hadn’t seen him since Oct, and I had taken a pregnancy test before I had left my house that morning (I was a few months late on my period, but every test came back negative) so I knew that couldn’t be it.

The entire time I was in AZ I was pretty much an emotional sick mess, and all I could think is what am I doing here? This guy didn’t even like me. We were sitting in a bar one night and Kyles Looking for Love song started to play, so I text him letting him know it was playing! I’m pretty sure he didn’t respond… or if he did it was a one word text.

I made it back home, and that was that. I couldn’t be hung up some guy that didn’t respect me no matter what bullshit he was throwing out.

Time to take out the trash, ash!

One morning I decided to take a pregnancy test… and it came out positive. I put on these slippers (that Kyle had gotten me for Christmas, and I hadn’t worn yet), rushed out of my house to go somewhere, anywhere, to confirm this pregnancy test. I mean at least 5 came out negative before this.

I’d end up taking 4 more, and an ER visit all that would confirm a positive pregnancy test.

I wasn’t afraid to tell Kyle. He is the type of person you just know is a good hearted honest person. His colors had never changed in any situation I seen him in at this point.

I had to drop off his guitar so I figured I’d just tell him then. He had a few shots sitting next to him when I showed up, as if he knew I was about to tell him he could possibly be this childs father.

Now this is where it may get confusing, I mean it took us months to figure out the math.

Kyle came with me to my first doctor appointment. I couldn’t figure out the exact dates of my last period but gave them a rough time frame. They did an ultrasound, and said are you sure on the dates, because you are measuring 12-14 weeks…

umm sayyyy what?!

Our faces went white. Obviously this little human couldn’t be Kyles. But he sat there…

Could this baby belong to my loser ex? Yep, I have no clue. All I know is the loser didn’t seem to care at all to be involved.

Kyle paid for a hotel room, drove me to SD, bought me maternity clothes, and so much more. He joked that the little human would call him Uncle Kyle. He would drive down every other week, and stay at a week at a time to help me with baby things, and take me to appointments. He literally didn’t miss a step in my entire pregnancy.

You guys! Kyle even took me on a babymoon and let me quit my job (for health reasons). He was just absolutely amazing.

He took 2 months of paternity leave a month before Grayson was born and a month after.

About 2 weeks after Gray was born we found out Gray was really his. Kyle was a father as soon as he held Gray, but the light in his eyes changed knowing he was his. Without any doubt.

We married almost a month after we became parents. At first, it was because it seemed like the next step, and right thing to do. We got married at the courthouse with my parents and our son there. We had plans to have ceremony in June of 2015 but my postpartum depression was ruining everything, including my relationship with Kyle (see blog Love me till I’m me again).

We had so many ups and downs in our first year of marriage, and our first year of becoming parents. We didn’t agree on much, things like vaccinations and religion. We had so much to still learn about one another and all the changes we were going through together.

Kyle and I had gone back and forth about divorce so many times. At one point we were going to live in different states. We moved houses a few times, and in the process of splitting up we decided to stay living together while I got back on my feet from being a stay at home mom to a working mom.

At this point we were painting together, and had a lot of one on one time while doing projects. We figured out we want to go through this life together. We were best friends. When we took away the expectations of marriage, and accept who each of us were things really took a big turn for the better. We fought for our friendship, family, and marriage. We fought so hard because that’s what you do, you fight until you absolutely have tried everything.

So while we were at our best (finally), we planned our second child (daughter, Georgia).

Now Kyle is a father, and a husband.

Eventually, I will blog about my twin sister who has Cerebral Palsy. Her name is Lacey and she moved in with us right before Georgia was born.

My husband never signed up for being more than a husband and father but he is the BEST brother in law to Lacey that anyone ever could be. He gets her on a level that no one else does. He teaches her, makes her laugh, helps her reach goals, jokes around and always listens to her silly stories. The list could go on and on but we will save that for another day.

This man has been my rock. He has taken care of me at my worst and my best. He does absolutely everything he can for our family. He works long hours and still comes home to help with the kids, Lacey and chores around the house. I give him list of projects I want done and sure enough he will make sure they get done. He supports me in absolutely everything.

Ladies, all I’m getting at is there are still great, wonderful, honest people out there. I have one, and I wasn’t looking at him when I should have been.

They will love you for everything you are and that you are not. They will laugh with you. They will be exactly what you aren’t looking for (or maybe they will be everything you are looking for) but everything you need.

God blessed me in many ways, but he started with restoring my faith in people. My best friend, baby daddy, and husband has taught me so much about being a better person. For that I will forever be grateful.

Now that I’ve found a friend and a lover; I bless the day that I discovered you,

3 Comments Add yours

  1. Dani says:

    Beautiful story, congrats on your journey!


  2. Tally’s Wife ;) says:

    I just want to tell you that you are an amazing Friend, Sister,Momma, and most of all Wife. Ashley we go way back and have been through so many things and to see the way you have changed your life in the last 3 Years amazes me! I have people who know the old you ask me how you are and I tell them exactaly how you are. No one believes that you have settled down have a family and best of all a pretty awesome hubby “even if he ya a man bun”. We are always here for you and love your crazy little family! Miss You!


    1. thomaschaos says:

      Aww this makes me want to cry! You are the best! Thank you soooo much love for always being there for me!!


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